Long story short, I needed a gift bong. I was at a friend’s house and I indelicately moved his large glass smoking device and cracked the glass stem beyond use or repair. He would not accept money or a replacement and rushed out to replace it himself, lest the gathering be doomed to sobriety.
I don’t know about you, but where I’m from, you make amends when you have harmed someone. Since he wouldn’t accept the standard amends, I was at a loss for what to do. I ruminated on the idea,”What is a form of redress appropriate for this situation that will honor his desire to not be compensated while taking care of my needs for restitution?” What is the “sorry I broke your expensive bong” replacement that can’t be denied? The answer to this gift conundrum is an edible, crispy rice treat apology bong my friends.
Water tight plumbers tape
Water tight glue
Crispy Rice Treats
2 – 10oz Bags Jumbo Marshmallows
3 tbsp butter
6 cups rice crispy cereal
Drill out hole with same diameter of the metal pipe in the PVC tube about 2-4 inches up from bottom. Make sure the length of the pipe can reach the bottom of the tube on the inside. (Edit: Drill a small hole on the opposite side and further up for the carb) Place plumbing tape on threads of the pipe and thread on metal end piece.
I went through a few tools before I got the right one to shave the hole out. The kitty was unimpressed but cuddly.
Insert pipe in the drilled hole and seal in place with watertight epoxy. Also seal bottom end cap in place with water tight epoxy. Eat Thai food if available.
Once cured, glue full assembly to plate with E6000. I did this so I could have stable base and a place to put my edible apology letter. The plate was from the thrift store, purchased for this project.
The pipe assembly is now complete. Once the glue is cured and set, clean and dry the pipe to prepare for food application.
Crispy Rice Treat Recipe
This is a basic rice crispy recipe minus the syrup to allow it to stay stiff on the vertical form.
Rice Crispy Bong Assembly
Microwave one bag of jumbo marshmallows in a microwave safe bowl until fully melted, 1-2 minutes.
Spread using a spatula if possible to spread evenly across the tube while still warm.
This will be a sticky mess, so watch your sleeves and hands.
Once the pre-coat is finished, you can apply the prepped rice crispy treats.
Pour the butter and remaining bag of marshmallows in the microwave safe bowl.
Microwave on high until soft, 1-2 minutes.
Add cereal and mix until fully coated with marshmallow mixture.
You want it compact, so I used parchment paper to mush the rice crispy to the tube.
Coat your hands with spray oil or butter to keep the sticky off. Spatula on the warm rice crispy mixture and smooth and press with the parchment paper. Keep working your way around and keeping an even thickness. The sticky precoating should be helping attach the rice crispy mixture.
This was an apology rice crispy bong, so I needed an apology letter to go with it. I added a few drops of green food coloring and a friend rolled out the remaining rice crispy treats, freehand cutting the letters.
Does it work?
The tube and plate were wrapped in plastic to prevent grossness sticking to the treats while transporting and using and the apology was thoroughly accepted.